FIRST MAJOR STUCK/PB in 11 months

As I have written about I have been struggling with restriction - not even knowing if I really had a band in there since I had been able eat anything with no real problems.   Well. . . . . NOT ANYMORE! 
If you read a couple of posts ago I had gone for a fill early last week and have been noticing restriction and have had to be much more careful than anytime in the previous 11 months. 

Last night I had a truly terrifying and unbelievably uncomfortable experience.   I am back in Bermuda for two days for business.  I was at a BBQ at a colleagues house with a couple other business/friends.  This man is an incredible host.  He has a beautiful home and is a real wine lover.  He opened up these amazing bottles of wine for us to taste.  I was fine with the wine and even had a couple pieces of cheese but when we started dinner - which was fabulous steak and sides - I got more stuck than ever.  I just had a few bites of steak but I didn't chew well enough.  And then I tasted this au gratin potato and that was it.  I took my cell phone and said I had to go check on my kids.  Went to the bathroom and immediately texted Nicole from Better Banded who advised me to make it all come up.  So I did. . again, and again, and again. . .and everytime I thought it was done I had to get back up and go back to the bathroom.  I have never experienced anything like this.   

Finally I told my host - who is a colleague/friend that I was just going through period of getting hot and must be having a flash from early menopause.  It was better than the alternative. . .I got food stuck in my lapband.  He was so nice about it and since I had lost my voice from my Christmas party the other night - everyone else just assumed I wasn't feeling well.  

So we left and I was so disappointed to not drink more of the amazing wine but that is just a sidenote. . .in the cab back to the hotel and it is still coming up.  I wisely sat in the front and bought napkins with me but I couldn't make it back to the hotel.  Had to get out of the cab on Front Street -and proceeded to PB again. 

Finally - I felt better.  So embarrassed though.  I just can not believe how violent this episode was.  It has changed everything and now I am once again very afraid of my band (as I was at first when I didn't know its limits). 

This morning I did manage to get a protein shake down and I am not hungry!  I think this new restriction is a function of my recent fill and also some stress - have been going through au pair issues once again which I will post about another time - and also other things with year-end at work.  Nothing I can't handle but it was a tough day/weekend before this happened. 

I have to say that after not feeling much restriction or benefits from the band for the last year - I am happy that I went through this.  I feel like it is giving me renewed hope that with the help of this tool I can finally lose the weight. 

Hope everyone is having a good week and I promise to update soon! 

xoxo Susan

Bermuda Black Tie Event! Fill seems to be working. . . motivation back!

Hi everyone!  I am committed to blogging more to keep me on track and excited.  Especially by reading about all your success stories!  So inspiring to see Nora so close to Onederland and Ronnie so close to goal.  I am not going to let it depress me that I was banded around the same time as them (same date as Ronnie) and sit here only 30 lbs down.  I was at 42 down back in April/May but then gained some.  I know that I just can't give up.  And working with a new practice that is much closer to follow-up with fills is already making a difference.  I have been starting to feel like a weight loss surgery failure.  But I am really trying so hard to remember what I said at the beginning of this journey - that "Failure is Not an Option!"

I am down in Bermuda and it is a gorgeous day here.  Around 70 and Sunny.  Tonight is my firm's Bermuda Office Christmas Party which is a big Black Tie event at a Hotel.  I have never been because I technically work for the U.S. division but since I had a meeting here this morning I decided I would stay.  I bought a new Tadashi long dress that I am actually looking forward to wearing with my Spanx of course.  I will try to upload a picture from my iPad later. 

I have been staying away from alcohol and salt all week so that I will feel better in the dress tonight and I think it is working. 

Bye for now. . . I will be back soon. 

xoxo  Susan

Hanging in! Fill Update - amount in the tubes?

I had a follow-up with the PA at my new doctor's office. She said I only had 4.2 cc's in my band that was filling it and the rest was in the tubes.  I had never heard of this before with my other practice.  So basically all the fluid was in my tubes and none was really tightening my band.  So she gave me another cc which would bring me up to 5.2 cc's in my band. 
Has anyone had any experience with this??

I do feel something.  I slowly sipped my protein shake this morning but then was hungry by 10:30 and had 1/2 cup of split pea soup and 2 teaspoons of egg salad.

I am really starting to feel down about my lack of loss and success with the band since I am coming up to my one year bandiversary.  But I will not let myself give up.   

Calling all BOOBS with a question on Esophogram. . .

So sorry that I have not posted. I don't know what is wrong with me.  Not losing and having a tough time motivating.  I spoke to many of you about my lack of restriction and ability to eat anything and everything.  I finally went for my esophogram/stomach x-ray this morning.  The radiologist doesn't tell you much but what I was able to see if that the liquid went right down without even stopping at all.  Not even briefly!  He didn't see a "pouch" on the top of the band but did say that it didn't erode or really didn't look like it had slipped (although he didn't know where it had been placed). 
I will have to wait until the PA at my new doctors office sees it this afternoon for more information.  I had it sent to my old doctor in NYC and the new one in CT.  I had switched because it was hard to go for the follow-up visits the way I should be in NYC. 

So my question is when you have had esophograms done - did the liquid drip down slowly? 

I supposedly have over 9 cc's in my 11 cc band.  Something must be wrong. 

Thank you Jennifer Lopez!

With a little help from Jennifer Lopez I did my 50 minute walk at the beach today and up and down my big hill 2x.  My all time favorite motivating song is "Let's Get Loud".  I did my first post surgery workout to it and I just love the lyrics so I included them below from my earlier post back in December. 

I am hoping that one good decision leads to the next. . . woke up, had my protein shake, went for the walk, went food shopping and bought a rotisserie chicken (my best go to food to make me full and one of the only things I get stuck on if not careful).

I was a little bummed that we were not invited to a Labor Day BBQ so making one of our own and two of my husband's friends are coming over.  Someone he works with and his partner.  Going to make skirt steak, boneless chicken thighs, spicy sausage (both chicken and pork), a big salad and corn.  I can stay away from the corn and so with the chicken and salad I will be good.  I told him I am not putting out chips or anything for before because we have a lot of BBQ food and I don't want to pick and eat too much. 

So far today:
Protein shake with almond milk.
5 ounces of rotisserie chicken. 
Pretty good start! 

Enjoy the "last day of summer"! 

xoxo Susan



"Let's Get Loud"[Chorus:]
Let's get loud, let's get loud
Turn the music up, let's do it
C'mon people let's get loud
Let's get loud
Turn the music up to hear that sound
Let's get loud, let's get loud
Ain't nobody gotta tell ya
What you gotta do

If you wanna live your life
Live it all the way and don't you waste it
Every feelin' every beat
Can be so very sweet you gotta taste it
You gotta do it, you gotta do it your way
You gotta prove it
You gotta mean what you say
Life's a party, make it hot
Dance don't ever stop, whatever rhythm
Every minute, every day
Take them all the way you gotta live 'em ('cause I'm going to live my life)
You gotta do it, you gotta do it your way
You gotta prove it
You gotta mean what you say
You gotta do it, you gotta do it your way
You gotta prove it
You gotta mean what you say [Chorus:]
Let's get loud, let's get loud
Turn the music up to hear that sound
Let's get loud, let's get loud
Ain't nobody gotta tell you
What you gotta do

[Break]
Life is meant to be big fun
You're not hurtin' anyone
Nobody loses
Let the music make you free
Be what you wanna be
Make no excuses
You gotta do it, you gotta do it your way
To gotta prove it
You gotta mean what you say
You gotta do it, you gotta do it your way
You gotta prove it
You gotta mean what you say

Weekends are tough. . .

When you aren't in a routine and all the social activities revolve around food.  I am hanging in there this weekend though! Yesterday I was so proud of myself for getting my butt back walking again.  I did my 50 minute walk at the beach including this major hill that I went up and down twice -- even the most fit "skinny mini's" typically walk his hill about 2-3 times - some I have heard are up to 5.  It was a great feeling to be back out there again with all the people exercising - I hadn't since mid July.  And I was just getting to the point where I could do the hill 3 times. 
The bad news is I didn't get back out there this morning and I really could have.  We had a friend sleep over with her two boys and I felt like I should get breakfast.  So I picked up bagels, etc.  And did fantastic for the first couple of hours - had my protein shake while everyone ate bagels but then when we couldn't decide what to do for the day after my friend left - I ate a bagel out of boredom.  Was not even hungry.  But good news now. . . I didn't let it ruin my whole day and after that I made mostly decent choices.  

Bedtime for the boys now. . . sometimes the hardest part of the day.  My kids hate going to bed.  And they are only 3, 4, and 6 - I can only imagine what I am in for in a few years.  I WISHHHHH the au pair was here so my husband I could go out but have to wait a week and then have her get used to the boys.  I really can't wait to get back into a routine - have not been in one since mid-July. 

Anyway. . .before I ramble too much I will say good night.  Hope everyone is having a fabulous Labor Day weekend!  Tomorrow the weather here will not be great but we hope to BBQ anyway. 

xoxo  Susan

I'm Back! Chicago and Meeting All of You Wonderful B.O.O.B.S is Giving Me Motivation!

Back to logging everything into My Fitness Pal. 

Back to thinking that "Failure is not an option".  I have been feeling over the last couple of months like I would be one of those people who just said that Lapband didn't work for me.  I really don't know what is going on with my band.  I have over 9 cc's in it and I can still eat pretty much anything I want - although some things more slowly than others.  I am making an appointment to have a fluoroscope soon.  My one year Bandiversary is December 20th so I would have to do it anyway.  I was a self-pay so I only want to have to do it once. 

I NEVER PB or throw up.  Occasionally I get stuck if I eat dry beef, chicken, or sometimes a pasta noodle too fast. 

I am down 35 lbs from my high.  That is up 7-8 lbs from my low.  It is so depressing to admit that but that is what this blog is for. . .accountability and not having to worry about admitting the truth. 

Over the last couple of months I think I lost that hopefully feeling I had at the beginning of my journey.  I don't know why I lost it but I do know that I need to get it back and all it will take is seeing the scale move down a bit.  I put on about 4 lbs on my trip to Ireland at the beginning of August and haven't been able to get in the groove and take it off. 

In addition to some upcoming business trips - I have Chicago to look forward to - I want to feel good when I meet all of you - and in mid-October I am going to South Beach to stay at the Setai Hotel which looks fabulous with two of my best friends - one is a really skinny mini (maybe 100 lbs - she was insulted when I asked if she weighed 115 :) and the other is tall with a great figure too.  Both of them LOVE to eat.  Anyway - I want to have clothes I like and while I won't look like them I just need to feel comfortable and enjoy the 4 night girls trip away. 

Some other news. . . my boys started school yesterday.  I have a Kindergartener and a 1st grader.  God I just love the feeling of putting them on that bus!  My 3 year old doesn't have pre-school until next week.  We made the last minute decision to put the middle one in Kindergarten.  He is not 5 until November and in CT the cutoff is December 31st.  My husband wanted to hold him back a year like most people do but he wanted to go and refused to go back to pre-school.  We disagreed and I won so now it best work out or I will really hear it!  I know we are going against what a lot of people lately do but I had to go with my gut. 

Our new au pair comes on the 10th and I can't wait!  All of my extra time has been spent on laundry and taking care of the boys and I have not actually worked out or gone on the treadmill since mid-July which is just horrible. 

There is so much to say since I have been absent for so long but I know the longer posts are harder for everyone to keep up with.   

I am really so excited for B.O.O.B.S.   Meeting all my "band-idols" whose blogs helped motivate me to do this and all of you going through this with me is just going to be fantastic!  

Hope everyone enjoys the Labor Day weekend. 

xoxo Susan

  

Hanging in there and making some progress! Off to Dublin tomorrow.

Hello!  I am slow and steady.  Lost about 1 lb this week and am happy with that.  Still not at the low I reached in April but not far off.  I am happy to see posts from three of my favorite bloggers whose blogs were the first I read - Catherine, Gen, and Jenny - keep posting! 

Tomorrow am off to Dublin for our quarterly Board meeting.  It is at a really nice resort outside of Dublin (Ritz Carlton) and I am very, very excited!  Except that there is some stuff going on that will make it a bit stressful/hectic workwise but all good.  Actually a real chance to show my value in my role.  Tough to explain more here. . . but nevertheless just very excited.  I haven't been overseas in a couple of years.  A bit of an NSV in that I am not totally freaking that I have nothing to wear. I have some nice things at this weight.  Of course I was hoping to be 20 lbs lighter by now but what can you do. . . I am on the right path and I will get there. 

On the homefront it has been a bit hectic because we had a new au pair come and she is horrible!  Or I should just say not a good fit.  She doesn't want to work hard and it is not easy taking care of three boys.  She must have been a bit spoiled at home with her mother doing everything for her and thought this would be fun.  So she is leaving at the end of next week when I get back.  And we have a new one coming on September 10th and I made sure I did a much better job screening.  It is such a crap shoot but we have had two absolutely wonderful experiences with au pairs and I know that we will have another one.  When you need 45 hours of childcare a week it is still the most economical thing.  If anyone is considering one please feel free to e mail me with any questions.

Off to pack!  Have a great weekend! 

xoxo  Susan

Thank you so much for the support - I NEED IT!

I am so sorry I have not been blogging.  I have been struggling and rather than use the blog for support I have shyed away.  Well - I am back!  Yesterday was my 7 month bandiversary.  I would say that I was doing great up until month 5 and then I just don't know what happened.  Basically I don't feel like I am getting enough "help" from my band.  I know it is just a tool and I have to use it and do most of the work but I thought that it would stop me from eating certain things as I have read on many of your blogs and it just doesn't.  It does stop me from being incredibly hungry and I truly believe had I not been banded in December I would have been approaching 300 lbs right now.  So sitting here 7 months later and being 225 is not so bad! 

The good news is that I really do feel so much better.  I am so happy to have this support group which I am going to rely on more than I have been. 

I had a fill two days ago - 0.5 cc's which brings me up to 9.2 cc's.  It seems like soooo much to me and yet I have still never slimed or PB'd and I much more than I know I should be.  I do feel some restriction and have to slow down but not what I thought 9.2 cc's would bring.  I am going to give this a little time and if I still don't feel like things are right I will go for a fluoroscope next month.  I think if anything I might have stretched my pouch from eating too much.  Any thoughts would be very helpful!     

Thanks again for highlighting my blog.  Off to start the day but will post with an update on other things. . .

AND HOPE EVERYONE STAYS COOL!  THIS HEAT IS CRAZY! 

I HATE BLOGGER! SO UPSET

I just spent 40 minutes typing my 6 month bandiversary post really pouring out my feelings and it was lost when trying to upload. 
No time to write again now. Just had to share my frustration.  It S***!!!! 

Still here! Fill Update - I don't get it ?????

I read all your posts multiple times a day but I haven't been posting - I don't really know why.  Things are fine - I would say still pretty status quo.  I am at 225.4 which is down 39 lbs from my high.  The lowest I have gotten is 221.4.  My six month bandanniversary is June 20th and I was really hoping to be down 60 lbs but now will be thrilled if I get get closer to 50 lbs down which will be tough. 

I had a slight fill earlier in the week and now am at 8.7 cc in my 11 cc band.  I think that is so much to have in there but I still can eat pretty much anything I want and I don't get it.  I have never PB'd.  I have gotten stuck a couple of times - mostly from eating dry chicken too fast or one time a string cheese. 

I have to admit that I am never really hungry and I know that it is the purpose of the band so from that aspect it is definitely doing its job.  I guess where I am a bit disappointed/confused is the amount of food that I can still eat without any trouble at this high level of restriction.  Has this happenned to anyone else?  I know that the band is just a tool and I need to start thinking of it that way again and find my willpower to begin losing again.  I think I was successful early on because I was so afraid of the band.  Unfortunately not so afraid anymore. 

The thing I still don't get when I read about some of you being so tight and PBing from water and only able to eat such small quantities that you need an unfill - why is that not happening to me.  I know I should be glad on the one hand. 

I guess it comes down to this unbelievable appetite I have and how much I love to eat - that is what got me to 265 lbs in the first place.  I need to get it under control. 

Any advice/suggestions please send my way!

So jealous BUT inspired by The Biggest Loser

Haven't watched regularly but watching tonight and these transformations in just 5 months are amazing! and I am loving watching the videos with the heavy self talking to the new thin self. I actually have tears in my eyes.

I need to refocus so I can consistently lose again.

In Bermuda and home tomorrow. Another great trip but too many meals out. I did go to the gym this morning and will go again tomorrow before my flight.

Status Quo - in the same "trading range"

Unfortunately I am still in the same "trading range" as we say in my business.  Up and down the same 2-3 lbs and I just can't break out of it.  But I will.  I keep reminding myself what I said at the beginning of this journey that "FAILURE IS JUST NOT AN OPTION".   And I know I will get down to goal - it will jsut take time. I am still proud of my progress - down 40 lbs (give or take 2-3) in a little less than 5 months.  My biggest problem is head hunger because I eat more than I need to - to satisfy my hunger.  I am just not hungry most of the time but I still find myself looking for something to eat. 

I really don't see how I could need a fill since I am up to 8.5 in a 10 cc band. 
On the exercise front I have been doing great - walking at least 40 minutes 5-6 times a week. 

I went to California this week on a business trip - to San Francisco, one of my favorite cities.  Had a great time - went to a Giants game and my meetings all went well.  This month I am on the road a lot - it just varies by the time of year.  I am back to Bermuda for a quick Monday to Wednesday trip this week and then home for one night before spending a night in NYC for another Conference.  I know it must sound like a lot having three little kids but I really am fortunate that when I am not traveling I work at home so get to see them much more than if I were in an office for 5 days a week.  They are really good about it too and don't complain.  Part of that is because we have had a wonderful Au Pair for the last 18 months and her last day was yesterday.  We are very sad but know that she has to go back home to Sweden and her family.  Our old Au Pair from Finland is visiting for 7 weeks starting in June and then we will welcome a new one at the end of June- also from Finland.  So some changes going on here and hopefully the boys will adjust well. 

Tonight I am hoping to get my husband to go see that new movie "Bridesmaids".  It got great reviews and I heard it was hysterical and not just a chick flick.  Two of my friends are going but I feel bad leaving my husband on a Saturday night.  I say that now but we'll see. . . girls night out might win. 

Hope everyone has a terrific weekend and I am going to try really hard to be a better blogger.  I think blogging helps so much and keeps me accountable.  So strategy is to focus on staying below 1200 calories, keep up my exercise, drink water, and BLOG! 

xoxo Susan

Great Trip to Bermuda :) NSV's!

My last morning in Bermuda.  Came down here for our quarterly Board meeting.  This was one of my best trips yet!  I am just feeling so much better about myself - have my confidence back which just shows in everything that I do.  One of the reasons I got the lap band was because I felt my weight was really beginning to affect my career and it was a horrible feeling.  So things are definitely back on track and headed in the right direction.  Down on the scale. . . I hope.  A good thing about being here is I can't weigh myself and for someone who is as scale obsessed as I am (literally about 6 times a day) it is a refreshing break.  I know how bad it is to weigh myself so many times a day but one issue at a time here.

Lots of NSV's - mostly people commenting although on an individual basis that I lost weight and giving me encouragement.  I was so much more comfortable on the airplane.  Also went to the gym for the last 4 mornings in a row before 7:00 am and did 40 minutes of fast walking on the treadmill.  My favorite part of the day was stopping at the hotel pool for 15 minutes with a cup of coffee after my workout.  

I was pretty good at meals but not great - I ordered fish at every dinner - had no bread at all - but at one dinner I accept the dessert that was served thinking I would eat the berries but it was the most delicious almond tiramisu and I didn't resist!  I am definitely able to still enjoy dining.  Had more wine than I should have but that's okay - we were all out enjoying.

Can't wait to get home and see my boys.  But I really do cherish my time away on business trips.  Working at home I sometimes miss the interaction with people in the office.  Luckily I have the best of both worlds. . . life is good!  :) 

Will post more later and hopefully the scale will be friendly. 

xoxo  Susan

So far so good. . .getting back on track

My goal today is to avoid snacking!! 

8:30 am    Fage Greek yogurt with 1 cup strawberries
10:30 am  40 minute walk on treadmill at 4.0 incline and 3.5-3.6 mph
11:30 am  Protein shake (EAS Myloplex Lite in vanilla w/frozen strawberries)
2:00 pm    1 cup Southwestern Tortilla soup pureed with rotisserie chicken
4:00 pm    Tzo Passion fruit tea

I have to keep it going and take one day at a time. 

Fingers crossed this fill does the trick!

Got my fill yesterday - 1 cc so now I am up to 8.5 cc's.  I am not hungry but I really need to focus on the head hunger.  I still have the desire to eat.  So I need to get back in the losing mode because I know that will motivate me.  I was doing so well and then got caught up in PIZZA!  I am staying away from PIZZA and wine for now.  I do have plans on Saturday night and if I am good for the next couple of days I will allow myself 2 glasses of wine while out but must order grilled fish and vegetables and stay away from carbs. 

About to hit the treadmill. . . step 1. 

6 Pieces of Pizza - how is this possible???????

I was kicking a** - having lost 3 lbs on vacation - and was down 43 lbs in total - that was on Friday morning.  Fast forward to Monday and I was back up 5 lbs.  So what happened. . . PIZZA and wine.  Friday night I went out with a girlfriend in NYC - we went to see a show - the new Ben Stiller and Edie Falco drama which had excellent acting.  Before the show out for drinks and appetizers at Del Fresco Steakhouse.  I was pretty good and Saturday morning only up 1 lb. probably b/c of the drinks.  Saturday day was perfect but then out to dinner with my husband.  3 glasses of wine later - and one half a dessert - up another 1 lbs on Sunday.  I know most of this is water weight.  Sunday have a great day until dinner.  Driving home from my sisters house (I was alone with the boys) and my 6 year old had to go to the bathroom.  So stopped in a town (Greenwich) and went to a great Pizza place and of course I told the boys we would have dinner since I couldn't resist the pizza.  A glass of wine and 3 slices at the restaurant - they were thin crust.  But - and this is a WTF moment - 3 more slices as I was driving.  I don't know what got into me?????? Then I also finished my son's ice cream cone.  And all while driving.  I NEVER DO THAT ANYMORE.  But instead of allowing myself to get really setback - I made a fill appt for tomorrow. 

Today I was not so great - decided I was only going to eat Protein so had egg white omlette for breakfast and then for lunch had half of a Rotisserie chicken.  That is just way too much food for a bandster to be able to consume.  I don't get hungry but need to stop eating.  Has any of this happened to anyone else.  I have 7.5 cc's in my 10 cc band.  I am thinking she will give me 0.5 tomorrow and bring me up to 8.  The nurse that does my fills is pretty aggressive.  I never PB - not once and have only gotten stuck if I eat too fast and don't chew. 

I have to admit I am getting a little scared that the band isn't going to work for me.  I know it is just a tool and I have been working it but most of my weight loss has been from willpower and diet.  And prior to my gain - it took me over a month to lose those couple of pounds and I was feeling so good. 

So what is my strategy - not to stress over it - I am not failing - just had a little set back.  Hopefully satisfied my pizza craving for a while.  And - I do need to stay away from the wine because it lowers my inhibitions and I eat more. 

And I need to blog - I have been reading and commenting on all of your blogs but not posting.  Send some encouragement my way - has this happened to anyone else?????

xoxo  Susan

Airplane Outfit. . .leaving for Florida "Vacation" tomorrow

Hi everyone!  Things have been so hectic getting ready for our trip to Florida tomorrow.  I have finally settled on the outfit for the airplane above.  And also a new picture now that I am down 40 lbs.  It is a new Michael Kors sweater and jeans that I haven't worn in 3 years.  Now why am I stressing over my airplane outfit???  I always like to dress nice on the plane - you never know who you will run into (and I guess b/c I travel for business a lot) but also my parents will be picking us up and I have not seen them since October as I mentioned in a previous post.  So they didn't see me after I gained my final 10 lbs but also haven't seen me since my surgery.  Although I have now lost 40 lbs most of the summer I was about 30 lbs heavier putting on the last 10 in October/November. 
I am very excited to go down but it will not be a vacation without a babysitter.  And it is also a pretty busy time for me with work and I will be checking my blackberry.  One of these days I will take a REAL VACATION! 

It is the Jewish holiday of Passover and so we will have two big dinners called Seders on Monday and Tuesday.  It is one of my favorite holidays.  For the first one we are going to my cousin's house who I have not seen in a long time and I am so excited for her to see my boys and to hang out.  She has about 35 people over for dinner so it will by a bit crazy.  And I will be seeing some of my cousins and my Aunt and Uncle who I spent Thanksgiving with right after I decided on surgery so I was at my heaviest.  It will be interesting to hear what they say - my Aunt knows about the lapband but she promised not to tell my cousins. 

For the second night we are going to my parents club so they can show off their three grandsons.  So of course I have been stressing over what to wear.  Back in 2003 right when I met my husband I went down there for Passover and I remember talking to him on phone and being so excited.  8 years later and I am returning for the holiday with about 55 lbs (but down from 95), a husband, and three sons.  In 2003 I wore a gorgeous St. John black dress suit and high Manolo Blahnik heels.  Maybe next year I will be able to wear it.  Not sure what I will wear this year but not too worried.  I have a few sweater sets, nice black slacks and some fun wedge platform sandals.  I will post some pictures.  I wish I could figure out how to upload pictures from my iPhone directly to my blog.  If anyone can help with this please let me know. 

Interestingly I am not worried about the food while on vacation.  I bet I actually lose because I don't see myself snacking as much as I do when working at home. 

Off to finish packing. . .

Take care xoxo  Susan

Bad, Bad Blogger - losing and gaining the same 2-3 lbs

That's me - haven't been good about blogging lately which is what helps to keep me on track.  I have been reading and trying to post on all of yours lately though and it does still help.  Here I sit - between 38 - 40 lbs down (Saturday morning I saw 41 but now 39) and I keep losing and gaining the same 2-3 lbs.  The problem is I snack and "pick" on food especially in the mid afternoon.  Not a ton but still not good.  The extra calories I am eating doing this is what has to be stalling my weight loss.  I have been pretty good about exercising. 

I have an important short term goal - we are leaving for Florida to visit my parents next Wednesday, April 13th.  I have not seen them since way before my surgery.  They live in Florida for 9 months out of the year and usually visit in the fall or around the holidays but this year for some reason they didn't come up.  They have been very supportive about my surgery - this time.  A year ago when I wanted it they were not but then watched me gain another 25 lbs and got on board. 

My mom is weight obsessed - why is it so many of us deal with that.  She is 5'4" and about 140 lbs but thinks she is overweight.  Not easy to deal with all the time but I know that she just wants me to be healthy.  My dad is pretty fitness and weight obsessed too.  He's about 175 and I can't wait to be lower than him. 

It is going to be pretty chaotic and not a real vacation with 3 kids, no nanny and parents. 

I definitely am starting to feel much more restriction than before - you were all right - it could take about 2 weeks to settle in.  Now I just need to work the band and get rid of the head hunger - I am definitely never really hungry. 

Promise to post more. 

xoxo  Susan

Book of Mormon

Just saw the play on Broadway and it was hysterical!!! Highly recommend it if you don't mind profanity and don't get disturbed easily. My husband really enjoyed his birthday dinner at The Palm which was delicious. The only bad part of the night is taking the train home. So tired and won't get home until nearly midnight.

My overall net calories for the day after adjusting for my treadmill walk were about 1600. Not terrible for having dinner at The Palm including 2 glasses of wine and a few bites of dessert.


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