Status Quo - in the same "trading range"

Unfortunately I am still in the same "trading range" as we say in my business.  Up and down the same 2-3 lbs and I just can't break out of it.  But I will.  I keep reminding myself what I said at the beginning of this journey that "FAILURE IS JUST NOT AN OPTION".   And I know I will get down to goal - it will jsut take time. I am still proud of my progress - down 40 lbs (give or take 2-3) in a little less than 5 months.  My biggest problem is head hunger because I eat more than I need to - to satisfy my hunger.  I am just not hungry most of the time but I still find myself looking for something to eat. 

I really don't see how I could need a fill since I am up to 8.5 in a 10 cc band. 
On the exercise front I have been doing great - walking at least 40 minutes 5-6 times a week. 

I went to California this week on a business trip - to San Francisco, one of my favorite cities.  Had a great time - went to a Giants game and my meetings all went well.  This month I am on the road a lot - it just varies by the time of year.  I am back to Bermuda for a quick Monday to Wednesday trip this week and then home for one night before spending a night in NYC for another Conference.  I know it must sound like a lot having three little kids but I really am fortunate that when I am not traveling I work at home so get to see them much more than if I were in an office for 5 days a week.  They are really good about it too and don't complain.  Part of that is because we have had a wonderful Au Pair for the last 18 months and her last day was yesterday.  We are very sad but know that she has to go back home to Sweden and her family.  Our old Au Pair from Finland is visiting for 7 weeks starting in June and then we will welcome a new one at the end of June- also from Finland.  So some changes going on here and hopefully the boys will adjust well. 

Tonight I am hoping to get my husband to go see that new movie "Bridesmaids".  It got great reviews and I heard it was hysterical and not just a chick flick.  Two of my friends are going but I feel bad leaving my husband on a Saturday night.  I say that now but we'll see. . . girls night out might win. 

Hope everyone has a terrific weekend and I am going to try really hard to be a better blogger.  I think blogging helps so much and keeps me accountable.  So strategy is to focus on staying below 1200 calories, keep up my exercise, drink water, and BLOG! 

xoxo Susan

Great Trip to Bermuda :) NSV's!

My last morning in Bermuda.  Came down here for our quarterly Board meeting.  This was one of my best trips yet!  I am just feeling so much better about myself - have my confidence back which just shows in everything that I do.  One of the reasons I got the lap band was because I felt my weight was really beginning to affect my career and it was a horrible feeling.  So things are definitely back on track and headed in the right direction.  Down on the scale. . . I hope.  A good thing about being here is I can't weigh myself and for someone who is as scale obsessed as I am (literally about 6 times a day) it is a refreshing break.  I know how bad it is to weigh myself so many times a day but one issue at a time here.

Lots of NSV's - mostly people commenting although on an individual basis that I lost weight and giving me encouragement.  I was so much more comfortable on the airplane.  Also went to the gym for the last 4 mornings in a row before 7:00 am and did 40 minutes of fast walking on the treadmill.  My favorite part of the day was stopping at the hotel pool for 15 minutes with a cup of coffee after my workout.  

I was pretty good at meals but not great - I ordered fish at every dinner - had no bread at all - but at one dinner I accept the dessert that was served thinking I would eat the berries but it was the most delicious almond tiramisu and I didn't resist!  I am definitely able to still enjoy dining.  Had more wine than I should have but that's okay - we were all out enjoying.

Can't wait to get home and see my boys.  But I really do cherish my time away on business trips.  Working at home I sometimes miss the interaction with people in the office.  Luckily I have the best of both worlds. . . life is good!  :) 

Will post more later and hopefully the scale will be friendly. 

xoxo  Susan

So far so good. . .getting back on track

My goal today is to avoid snacking!! 

8:30 am    Fage Greek yogurt with 1 cup strawberries
10:30 am  40 minute walk on treadmill at 4.0 incline and 3.5-3.6 mph
11:30 am  Protein shake (EAS Myloplex Lite in vanilla w/frozen strawberries)
2:00 pm    1 cup Southwestern Tortilla soup pureed with rotisserie chicken
4:00 pm    Tzo Passion fruit tea

I have to keep it going and take one day at a time. 

Fingers crossed this fill does the trick!

Got my fill yesterday - 1 cc so now I am up to 8.5 cc's.  I am not hungry but I really need to focus on the head hunger.  I still have the desire to eat.  So I need to get back in the losing mode because I know that will motivate me.  I was doing so well and then got caught up in PIZZA!  I am staying away from PIZZA and wine for now.  I do have plans on Saturday night and if I am good for the next couple of days I will allow myself 2 glasses of wine while out but must order grilled fish and vegetables and stay away from carbs. 

About to hit the treadmill. . . step 1. 

6 Pieces of Pizza - how is this possible???????

I was kicking a** - having lost 3 lbs on vacation - and was down 43 lbs in total - that was on Friday morning.  Fast forward to Monday and I was back up 5 lbs.  So what happened. . . PIZZA and wine.  Friday night I went out with a girlfriend in NYC - we went to see a show - the new Ben Stiller and Edie Falco drama which had excellent acting.  Before the show out for drinks and appetizers at Del Fresco Steakhouse.  I was pretty good and Saturday morning only up 1 lb. probably b/c of the drinks.  Saturday day was perfect but then out to dinner with my husband.  3 glasses of wine later - and one half a dessert - up another 1 lbs on Sunday.  I know most of this is water weight.  Sunday have a great day until dinner.  Driving home from my sisters house (I was alone with the boys) and my 6 year old had to go to the bathroom.  So stopped in a town (Greenwich) and went to a great Pizza place and of course I told the boys we would have dinner since I couldn't resist the pizza.  A glass of wine and 3 slices at the restaurant - they were thin crust.  But - and this is a WTF moment - 3 more slices as I was driving.  I don't know what got into me?????? Then I also finished my son's ice cream cone.  And all while driving.  I NEVER DO THAT ANYMORE.  But instead of allowing myself to get really setback - I made a fill appt for tomorrow. 

Today I was not so great - decided I was only going to eat Protein so had egg white omlette for breakfast and then for lunch had half of a Rotisserie chicken.  That is just way too much food for a bandster to be able to consume.  I don't get hungry but need to stop eating.  Has any of this happened to anyone else.  I have 7.5 cc's in my 10 cc band.  I am thinking she will give me 0.5 tomorrow and bring me up to 8.  The nurse that does my fills is pretty aggressive.  I never PB - not once and have only gotten stuck if I eat too fast and don't chew. 

I have to admit I am getting a little scared that the band isn't going to work for me.  I know it is just a tool and I have been working it but most of my weight loss has been from willpower and diet.  And prior to my gain - it took me over a month to lose those couple of pounds and I was feeling so good. 

So what is my strategy - not to stress over it - I am not failing - just had a little set back.  Hopefully satisfied my pizza craving for a while.  And - I do need to stay away from the wine because it lowers my inhibitions and I eat more. 

And I need to blog - I have been reading and commenting on all of your blogs but not posting.  Send some encouragement my way - has this happened to anyone else?????

xoxo  Susan

Airplane Outfit. . .leaving for Florida "Vacation" tomorrow

Hi everyone!  Things have been so hectic getting ready for our trip to Florida tomorrow.  I have finally settled on the outfit for the airplane above.  And also a new picture now that I am down 40 lbs.  It is a new Michael Kors sweater and jeans that I haven't worn in 3 years.  Now why am I stressing over my airplane outfit???  I always like to dress nice on the plane - you never know who you will run into (and I guess b/c I travel for business a lot) but also my parents will be picking us up and I have not seen them since October as I mentioned in a previous post.  So they didn't see me after I gained my final 10 lbs but also haven't seen me since my surgery.  Although I have now lost 40 lbs most of the summer I was about 30 lbs heavier putting on the last 10 in October/November. 
I am very excited to go down but it will not be a vacation without a babysitter.  And it is also a pretty busy time for me with work and I will be checking my blackberry.  One of these days I will take a REAL VACATION! 

It is the Jewish holiday of Passover and so we will have two big dinners called Seders on Monday and Tuesday.  It is one of my favorite holidays.  For the first one we are going to my cousin's house who I have not seen in a long time and I am so excited for her to see my boys and to hang out.  She has about 35 people over for dinner so it will by a bit crazy.  And I will be seeing some of my cousins and my Aunt and Uncle who I spent Thanksgiving with right after I decided on surgery so I was at my heaviest.  It will be interesting to hear what they say - my Aunt knows about the lapband but she promised not to tell my cousins. 

For the second night we are going to my parents club so they can show off their three grandsons.  So of course I have been stressing over what to wear.  Back in 2003 right when I met my husband I went down there for Passover and I remember talking to him on phone and being so excited.  8 years later and I am returning for the holiday with about 55 lbs (but down from 95), a husband, and three sons.  In 2003 I wore a gorgeous St. John black dress suit and high Manolo Blahnik heels.  Maybe next year I will be able to wear it.  Not sure what I will wear this year but not too worried.  I have a few sweater sets, nice black slacks and some fun wedge platform sandals.  I will post some pictures.  I wish I could figure out how to upload pictures from my iPhone directly to my blog.  If anyone can help with this please let me know. 

Interestingly I am not worried about the food while on vacation.  I bet I actually lose because I don't see myself snacking as much as I do when working at home. 

Off to finish packing. . .

Take care xoxo  Susan

Bad, Bad Blogger - losing and gaining the same 2-3 lbs

That's me - haven't been good about blogging lately which is what helps to keep me on track.  I have been reading and trying to post on all of yours lately though and it does still help.  Here I sit - between 38 - 40 lbs down (Saturday morning I saw 41 but now 39) and I keep losing and gaining the same 2-3 lbs.  The problem is I snack and "pick" on food especially in the mid afternoon.  Not a ton but still not good.  The extra calories I am eating doing this is what has to be stalling my weight loss.  I have been pretty good about exercising. 

I have an important short term goal - we are leaving for Florida to visit my parents next Wednesday, April 13th.  I have not seen them since way before my surgery.  They live in Florida for 9 months out of the year and usually visit in the fall or around the holidays but this year for some reason they didn't come up.  They have been very supportive about my surgery - this time.  A year ago when I wanted it they were not but then watched me gain another 25 lbs and got on board. 

My mom is weight obsessed - why is it so many of us deal with that.  She is 5'4" and about 140 lbs but thinks she is overweight.  Not easy to deal with all the time but I know that she just wants me to be healthy.  My dad is pretty fitness and weight obsessed too.  He's about 175 and I can't wait to be lower than him. 

It is going to be pretty chaotic and not a real vacation with 3 kids, no nanny and parents. 

I definitely am starting to feel much more restriction than before - you were all right - it could take about 2 weeks to settle in.  Now I just need to work the band and get rid of the head hunger - I am definitely never really hungry. 

Promise to post more. 

xoxo  Susan