To Fill or Not To Fill. . . that is the question????

Three weeks ago I had my first fill of 4cc in a 10cc band.  I postponed my second fill scheduled for yesterday for a few reasons. 

First, I have to go to NYC for my fills (about an hour on the train although I then have to take a cab up to Columbia on the Upper West side) and had a lot of things to do so needed the couple of hours to finish (although I could have made it work). 

Second, I have to be in NYC this afternoon and all day tomorrow for a conference and was a little nervous about sticking to liquids/mushies while away.  Also feared since I have not had any stuck/PB episodes I might be overconfident while eating and go to fast. 

And third, my weight is down and I am feeling pretty good.  As of this morning I am down 32 lbs from my high and it is 8 weeks since my surgery.  Granted I would say 90% has been willpower and just being focused on thinking "failure is just not an option". 

The other 10% is knowing the band is there.  I do feel full with the band but could honestly keep on eating.  I have always been more of a volume eater rather than sweets so it is keeping the volume in control.  I do still think about food and what my next meal is going to be and how much I would love to have a bowl of pasta or a pizza.  All of your experienced bandsters - would a fill take those thoughts away? 

In reading Gen's blog she is at her Green Spot now and it sounds great but I am just scared of potential issues that could arise from tightening.  That being said. . . if it would accelerate my weight loss I should and will do it.  I tentatively set an appt for next Tuesday.  The other thing I fear is it will take away from my ability to eat the foods that are good for me - I mostly eat chicken and dense protein right now and its working for me.  I do know I could slow down and chew better. 

HELP!!!  Going to post separately about what's been going on. 
   

Soooooo close to 30 lbs down!

I am 0.4 away but I don't count it until I see the real number!  I probably would have reached it if not for all the cheese platters at our office in Bermuda.  But I did go to the gym every morning so I came home down 0.5 lb and am very happy with that. 
I am taking my two older boys skiing tomorrow - we are leaving tonight and going up to Butternut in Massachusetts.  I am so excited even though I won't be skiing.  Skiing has been one of my all time favorite activities since I was 7.  I love everything about it and am so excited to share with my boys.  My husband never skiied unfortunately but I will get him into it.  I have just spent the last 7 years either pregnant or felt too heavy to ski.  I still feel it would be a bit dangerous for me but unlike 30 lbs ago I bet I could do it if I were careful but being down closer to 50 is likely safer.  I even found a pair of pants to fit - on Lands End size XL - Petite so the length is good - and I guess that is an NSV since they are not plus size!  Just the fact that I am taking them is a major victory for me because a few months ago I would have been too lazy. 
Off to pack - hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

xoxo Susan

Keep me away from the Cheese!

It seems that our office is very big on cheese platters. At every meeting I am tempted. I gave in twice today but just had a small amount and a total of two crackers. Back at the hotel now. I should just skip dinner but I know I will then spend the night contemplating getting room service. . . so here I sit at the hotel bar/lounge/restaurant and I ordered a grilled salmon with steamed vegetables. And am typing on my new Zaggmate keyboard for the iPad. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my iPad????

Contemplating a glass of wine but thinking it will just about wipe out my 40 minute workout on the treadmill this morning at the hotel gym so I think I am going to pass.

Tomorrow night there is a cocktail party at our office and you know what that means - MORE CHEESE. I definitely need to wake up at 6 again and get my butt back on the treadmill. I am hoping to come back on Thursday and at least stay even with my weight from when I left.

Hope everyone is having a good week.

Mike and Molly - What do you think of the show?

I really like it and think it is one of the funniest shows on.

Hello from Sunny and Warm Bermuda!

It is beautiful here. I left my house at 6:30 and the boys were up. Much sweeter than last night. All standing there and kissing me goodbye. I made my protein shake before I left and also took some fresh berries with me and a vanilla Chobani yogurt. The flight was great - we flew on a private jet and I fit in my seat and didn't have to struggle with the seatbelt.

I felt great in my black suit but noticed it is getting too big and then the material wrinkles. I should be able to get a few more wearings out of it.

We had the Board meeting during the day. A few of the Directors praised my presentation which is the ultimate compliment. So I was thrilled about that. The bad part was dinner - my band decided not to come and I ended up eating a whole tomato mozzarella salad - I should have eaten half. And my whole fish dish which wasn't too bad but in a light cream sauce.

Today is definitely not going in the food log - way too many calories.
I am really hoping I have the energy to wake up and go to the gym at 6:30. Even if I just do 30 minutes it will be a victory!

More meetings tomorrow and going to try to enjoy the weather a bit.

Have a nice night everyone. And I am in for the NYC Lunch on March 20th. Looking forward to meeting everyone!

xoxo Susan

A little vent. . . and an NSV

Hi everyone - I have been a bad blogger this week but I have been reading and commenting on your posts.  Today was a tough day - my kids are really out of control.  They just don't listen - have no respect for things - and as much as we try with time outs and taking things away - it is so hard for them to understand consequences.  My husband keeps saying they are 2, 4, and 6 but I still think kids should be better behaved.  I probably shouldn't be blogging right now b/c I am in a terrible mood.  I am leaving on my business trip to Bermuda tomorrow and so I had to pack and get ready - get the house ready since I will be gone until Thursday - making sure there is food - snacks for the boys - that everyone is paid - that schedules are done, etc.  My husband decides today of all days he is going to make chili.  So while I need him watching the kids so I can pack  - he is downstairs making a mess - the boys are tearing up the room with their toys - and the cushions are all off the couch.  So after packing and reviewing my presentation that I need to make to our Board - I come down to "Animal House".  And the house stinks like cumin and chili spices.  Not to mention the fact that I want to watch the Superbowl but married the only guy I know not into football. 
Okay - enough venting. 

On to better things. . . I have been very diligent on my walking - on the treadmill every day this week for 40 minutes - I steepened the incline and am going at a faster pace.  The scale has been pretty good too - down almost 29 total (0.2 lbs away).  Not the 30 that I had hoped for by tomorrow morning but I will take it. 

Looking forward to getting on that plane tomorrow.  Car service picking me up at 6:30 am.  And an NSV - I am not in a total panic before a business trip because I don't have anything to wear.  Tomorrow I am going to wear this great black Tahari suit that I bought months ago online at Bloomingdales for 60% off.  It didn't fit but I was too lazy to return it and hoped that someday it would.  Last week I finally had they pants and sleeves shortened.  I tried it on today and it was so great to wear something for business that felt nice and professional again and not just trying to get away with wearing sweaters and slacks to meetings.  It really is a great suit and I look forward to giving it to someone when it no longer fits. 

Yesterday was a better day than today - took the boys on errands in the morning while my husband caught up on stuff and then at 3:00 had some "me time" for hair color, nails, etc.  Then out to dinner with my husband and saw Black Swan.  Really liked it and wasn't disturbed as so many have said.  Natalie Portman deserves that Oscar. 

Well - better get back to the craziness - putting them to bed is not going to be fun tonight.  Will post from Bermuda. 

xoxo Susan

Stylish Blogger Award Response - FINALLY

So sorry it has taken me so long to post.  Thank you to everyone who nominated me!  So. . . seven things about me. . . here goes and not necessarily in any order. 

1.    I let my boys eat way too much fast food.  But they are all underweight so not concerned about problems there.  But what is worse is I often go to the drive through and let them eat it in the car. 

2.  I am a total TV addict - both drama and Reality TV - especially The Real Housewives - and I love all of them, New Jersey, Beverly Hills, Orange County, New York City, Atlanta.  I didn't love the Washington D.C. but still watched it. 

3.  At one point I really thought I wouldn't get married and have kids.  Now I have had 3 kids in 7 years of marriage and sometimes miss my single life.  Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change anything but just a case of the grass is always greener.  I also always wanted a daughter but am over it now and love having 3 of a kind.

4.  Way too often I let the scale dictate my mood.  I weigh myself multiple times a day - even when the scale is going up.  So I knew exactly how much weight I was gaining and can't figure out why I didn't put a stop to it sooner.

5.  When my OB-GYN first mentioned Lapband to me after my third child I thought there was no way I could give up my wine (I thought you weren't allowed to drink with the band) and couldn't even fathom the thought of drinking a protein shake and eating mushy food.  Now I love protein shakes and have no problem pureeing things. 

6.  I have two younger sisters who are my best friends and I adore. 

7.  I have the BRCA gene which puts me at a higher risk for Breast and Ovarian cancer.  My mother had Stage 4 Ovarian cancer when she was 47 (I was 23) and 21 years later is still cancer free.  My sisters both have the gene as well.  We all had our ovaries removed (sudden menopause was not fun) and they are each contemplating masectomies but I can't even think about that until I get this weight off.  

Now I am suppose to nominate 15 people but too hard to pick to if you are reading this, I nominate you! 
Hope you all enjoyed learning a few random facts about me. . .it has been great reading all of your posts too.